Ten Reasons to Buy Stocks Now [humor]

growthstockwireI’ve respected Jeff Clark’s advice on the markets for years now. In the last two weeks he’s made a compelling case for a major. imminent decline in the stock market. I’m getting ready to jump into some DXD (the double DOW down fund).

Then this morning I was mystified to read this headline from him:

Ten Reasons to Buy Stocks Now

For the past few weeks, I’ve been spouting off about all the reasons to stay out of the stock market.

Numerous technical indicators are flashing “sell” signals. There’s massive negative divergence on the charts of all the major broad market indexes. Insider selling is at its highest level since late 2007. The public has forgotten all about the tortuous decline suffered just a few months ago and is casually tossing what’s left of its savings back into the most speculative stocks like a toddler throwing coins into a wishing fountain.

Of course, nobody really wants to hear stuff like that. As one reader put it, “Enough already with the negativity. Can’t you find any good reasons to buy stocks?”

The reader is right. Frankly, I’m tired of being bearish on the stock market. It’s time to blow away the storm clouds of negativity and enjoy the lemon drop sunshine and gummy bear rainbows. Let’s stop focusing on the bad stuff. Instead, join hands with your neighbor and share good thoughts.

And if you’ll hum a little Kumbaya, I’ll share my top 10 reasons to buy stocks right now…

10) The Feds are already doing everything they can to destroy your wealth. Putting all you have into stocks will get the job done faster and free up their time for other things.

9) Bernie Madoff thinks it’s a good idea.

8) You won’t need a calculator to figure out your net worth.
 
7) Your broker won’t have to take a second career delivering pizzas. That’ll open up a job for someone else. The employment report will improve, and you’ll be credited with kicking off the economic boom of 2009.

6) Standing in soup lines is a great way to meet new people.

5) You won’t feel guilty benefiting from the “Take a penny, Leave a penny” tray at the local Starbucks.

4) It’s “Opposite Day.”

3) A diet of Top Ramen and generic beer will bring back all those wonderful memories from college.

2) Homelessness will take your mind off of global warming.

And, the No. 1 reason to buy stocks right now…

1) You won’t have any of those pesky capital gains taxes to worry about at the end of the year.

Best regards and good trading,
Jeff Clark

(Read more from Jeff on The Gowth Stock Wire.)

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One Response

  1. why are there no updates.. like nov 2011

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